‘BlueSuburbia’ Stirs Up a Deep, Solitary Fear

BlueSuburbia takes you to a place that is filled with a lonely kind of menace – an oppressive fear that crushes you as it tells you that no one will come save you.

CONTENT WARNING: Self hatred. But maybe I’m reading this wrong?

It felt like the eyes were all over me as I walked through this place. They peered from all corners. They peeked from the earth under my feet. Something was always staring no matter where I walked. In a place so loaded with an overwhelming sense of imminent destruction – a world that would constantly collapse and reshape, filled with uncertainty – they would just watch me. Gawk away as I tried to find someplace safe, but couldn’t. Not one of them seemed interested in helping me, though. They would just stare as I ran, looking for some way out of here. It was like I was some form of entertainment to them. That they just wanted to see me suffer.

This feeling made the rest of the game’s frightening atmosphere cut all the deeper. I tried to flee from a spider that called for me to come closer, but the roads all seemed to lead back to it. I find myself in endless halls filled with images of self-loathing, and an inner thought process that wants me to hate myself. It promises some sort of freedom in accepting that I deserve this hatred. That it should be my mantle or legacy, and that accepting it and being consumed by it is the right way to work through it. Fighting it feels exhausting, All roads lead back to the spider, like I said a moment ago. So why walk? Where do I expect to go?

I feel like I have to try. I feel like I need to continue this walk to understand, even as it breaks my heart and demands to break my soul along with it. BlueSuburbia is a crushing vision of despair, the bottomless price you pay for being hurt and daring to speak about it, your agonies being turned into ‘content’, and more. Saying I want to spend more time here would be untrue. I am afraid of this place. It hurts to stand here and listen. But I feel that I have to see this through.

And there is a spiteful hope by the end of the demo that I am grasping onto. A hope that I want to roar so loud it shakes the Earth.

I have to see it through.

BlueSuburbia is currently in development, but in the meantime, you can grab a demo from itch.io.

Joel Couture

Joel has been covering indie games for various sites including IndieGames.com, Siliconera, Gamasutra, Warp Door, CG Magazine, and more over the past seven years, and has written book-length studies on Undertale and P.T.. Joel is constantly on the lookout for digital experiences that push the boundaries of what games can be, and seeks to delve into the creative process, meanings, and emotion labor that goes into the work of artists worldwide.