How excited are you for Grand Theft Auto 6? Pretty excited? Oh yeah, well, prove it—move to Norway and have a child. What, you don’t want to? I knew you were chicken. I knew you didn’t have what it takes.
In case you’re wondering whether I have gone fully mad, the answer is ‘only slightly’. This is an actual deal that retailer Komplett, a Scandinavian gaming and PC store, is offering on its Instagram (thanks, Metro).
The video’s text roughly translates to: “Life hack: Lie together today, get GTA 6 free from us in 9 months”. In case you thought it was a bit, the description clarifies: “This is actually not [a joke], GTA 6 is released in 9 months, and if you have a baby on the launch date, we’ll give you the game for free.”
So, let’s do the maths. The average pregnancy lasts for nine months. Assuming you want to obtain the best chances of getting a free GTA 6 copy from Komplett, that means you’ll want to conceive your future child (who will presumably need therapy once you explain the circumstances of their birth to them) on February 19.
That gives you six days. Six days to meet someone, agree to have a child with them, move to Norway if you don’t live there already (statistically-speaking you don’t, the country has a population that’s equal to half an Oblivion Remastered player base), and then cross your fingers really hard for nine months after one wild night of savings-induced lovemaking.
Or, y’know. Take care of the bearer of your child—or yourself, depending on what equipment you’ve got.
I will, however, say that while Komplett’s promise is seemingly entirely earnest, you should not under any circumstances have a child for the sole purposes of getting a free copy of GTA 6. There’s the ethical concerns, true, but it’s also just a really bad deal, even in Norway, which has robust social services, including a “barnehage” system that provides a subsidised and affordable kindergarten.
I couldn’t find the exact costs for Norway, but here in the UK, the estimated cost of raising a child to the ripe old age of 18 is estimated to be around £250,000 – £300,000. We don’t know how much GTA 6 costs yet, but assuming the rumours of an $80 (approximately £58) price tag are true, that means having a child to get a free copy of GTA 6 is around 5,172 times more expensive than just buying the damn thing.
Also, like. The chances are you’re not exactly going to land on the day. Please don’t attempt this—but if by any chance you happen to be Norwegian AND the proud owner of a newborn child, I am sure your significant other won’t mind a quick trip away from the fragile, precious life you’ve brought into the world to pop to Komplett and cash in your good fortune.
