2012 was quite a year. Barack Obama was re-elected, PC Gamer selected Mass Effect 3 as Game of the Year, and Binding of Isaac studio teased its next game, an “adorably horrible” kitty-cat mutation simulator called Mew-Genics.
Now it’s 2025: Donald Trump is somehow sort of in charge, BioWare seems pretty much cooked, and Mewgenics—now minus the “-“—still isn’t out. But after 13 years of waiting we do now finally have an official trailer, and I don’t know what I expected but it sure wasn’t this.
Words can’t really describe what you’re about to see, but as a dedicated media professional I’ll take a shot anyway. The official Mewgenics trailer is a mostly live action musical number about a husband and wife unable to have children. To fill the void, they bring home a pair of kitties from the local pound, a male and a female as it turns out, and I guess neither Mr nor Mrs Jones were Bob Barker fans because it didn’t occur to either of them that spaying or neutering might be a good idea.
It spirals out of control from there into an orgy of sex, violence, recrimination, and regret: The Joneses eventually reach a point where mass murder seems like the only option, but they’ve already given all the cats names, and despite the crowding, noise, poop, angry neighbors, and general sublimation of their lives into a hellish nightmare from which there is no escape, the little buggers are just so gosh-darn cute!
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The final two minutes of the video, which runs for nearly four minutes in total, are dedicated to a recitation of cat names that grows almost painful in length: Well over 100 of them, by my estimate, from Abner to Ziggy, each horrific in its own way but some far, far worse than others—rather like cats in real life, when you think about it.
There are also (very) brief snippets of gameplay here and there, although not enough to piece together into anything coherent: Here, for instance, is a level-up screen for Ichabod, who can choose the ability to summon a squirrel or a caterpillar, gain some bonus magic damage, or turn into an elk. Because sure, that makes sense.
The Mewgenics trailer stands as an experience unto itself, but it’s worth noting that the game is seemingly approaching an actual release: The Steam page says Mewgenics will be out in 2025. It also warns that, while kitties are notoriously cute, the game itself is not entirely committed to maintaining that image:
Attacks are highlighted by blood-splatter effects, dismemberment, and decapitation; several areas are littered with blood pools and entrails. Some areas depict large amounts of feces and urine on the floor; certain items allow cats to defecate, urinate, or summon excrement-themed characters. During the course of the game, players’ character can consume a variety of pills to gain buffs. Cats will frequently hump one another, but this can be turned off in options. oh also there is a good amount of random swearing and innuendo.
Actually, that sounds rather like cats in real life, too.
