Vampire Therapist is a visual novel involving, well, vampires in therapy. The patients and the therapist are all part of this undead group, making it a case of vampires consulting vampires. After all, only an ancient being can truly understand the problems of another such being. This neat concept was first released on PC in 2024. Now, it comes to the Nintendo Switch and other consoles. Not the Nintendo Switch 2, though.
My introduction to Vampire Therapist was a rough one. I downloaded the game on my Switch 2 only to find myself greeted by a black screen. Closing the app and restarting the system generated the same results. Google to the rescue, then. Turns out this game is incompatible with the Switch 2. Why? Who knows. But even a month after its initial release, the problem still exists. A patch is coming, but it’s a disappointing start to my journey. I’ve never encountered this issue with any other game (and you could say I play a lot of games).
Cut to me finding my original Switch and charging it before transferring the virtual card across. It’s not a hard process, but it’s annoying enough. Side note: I’d also forgotten how much smaller the original hybrid console is! In any case, I was finally able to play.
And it’s a cool-sounding game. I love vampires, and, like many, was sucked into the world of vampire literature in my youth (I prefer Anne Rice over Stephanie Meyer just FYI). A visual novel is a great genre for this topic. The beginning is intriguing, introducing us to Sam Walls, a relatively young vampire hailing from the days of the Wild West. He’s been reflecting on his own (after)life, converting himself from a mindless killer to someone more compassionate. It seems he’d like to share his profound vision with others, helping his kin be their best selves.
I’ll start with something positive. The first thing to say about this game is that there’s some decent voice acting involved. Every character is voiced, with some well-known actors such as Matthew Mercer and Sarah Grayson involved. It helps bring the story to life and make each character more relatable. The graphics are also neat. The characters and backdrops are well designed, making this a good-looking title. I also didn’t spot any typos in the speech, something that always bugs me in a game that’s all about on-screen text.
Unfortunately, there are huge problems with the Switch version – and I’m not even referring to the lack of Switch 2 compatibility. There are options to change the text display – a must in a visual novel. First of all, the conversation continues in the background even while you’re in the menu adjusting things. This means you miss part of the dialogue. Secondly, there’s no option to pause text, only to alter how fast it moves on to the next sentence. While I usually prefer speech to move along on its own so I can sit back and enjoy the story, Vampire Therapist has interactive elements that require your input. You need it to pause.
When speaking with clients, Sam uses on-screen options to verify the type of issue they’re having. This might be something dubbed a “Nosferatu complex”, or a “should scenario”. The player must choose the right response from a list. Most of the time, because the text doesn’t pause, the next sentence begins before you have a chance to choose. When you get it wrong, the whole thing is repeated. It’s not even clear which button to press – typically it’s A but it says to press B, though A often works and sometimes neither do. It’s extremely frustrating. Some sections just can’t be passed. I found myself stuck in a looped conversation because every input I tried was either wrong or not recognized.
I can’t tell you how disappointed I am with this game. The promising premise is ruined by poor porting. It renders the game as unplayable for me – there’s only so many times I’m willing to hear the same spiel again from a whining client while trying to guess what they mean. I hope a patch will fix these issues, along with a Switch 2 compatibility update.
